Why do I do things I feel guilty about later? Is the problem the stuff I do, or the guilt I feel? Why would I WANT to do something that makes me feel guilty?
I have some ideas. Obviously I don’t know. Maybe there IS no answer.
If you know the answers to these questions. Let me know.
Some of you may know that I tend to be rather Dominant in my sexuality. Along the way, I have collected a few tidbits of arcane BDSM related stuff. This was found quite awhile back on USENET. (Remember USENET???)
The Rules:
1. I will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Master decides which implement
to spank me with.
2. I will not annotate Master’s “To Do” list.
3. I will not applaud when Master uses big words.
4. Master’s dog does NOT stink.
5. I will not genuflect at Master’s erection.
6. Master does NOT hog the bed.
7. I will not refer to Master’s kitty as “snake food.”
8. I will not snigger at the pronunciation of Master’s commands.
9. I will not perform a ventriloquist act with Master’s penis.
10. I will not imitate Master’s accent.
11. Master’s chair is not to be used to pile my clutter.
12. I will keep my leopard print sheets laundered so that Master is not subjected to “those flowery things.”
13. I will not yawn while waiting for Master to climax.
14. I will not chew my collar.
15. I will not giggle during paddlings.
16. I will not propose letter grades when Master belches.
17. I will not snarl when Master asks me to share my chocolate.
18. I will not tell Master he has permission to fuck me.
19. I will not say “good boy” to Master.
20. I will not make shadow puppets in the candlelight while Master is tying me up.
21. I will not critique how Master ties me up.
22. I will not masturbate after Master falls asleep.
23. I will not go out-of-state when borrowing Master’s car during lunch.
24. When Master is kind enough to bring me a cup of tea, I will not call him “the tea fairy.”
25. No matter how much Master adores me, he does not get down on his knees to do so.
26. I will not yell at the other slaves.
27. I will not change the settings on Master’s alarm clock.
28. I will not deliberately mispronounce words to confuse Master.
29. It is unlikely that Master pushed all the covers onto my side of the bed so he could shiver all night.
30. If I don’t like the settings on Master’s car radio, I can drive my own car.
31. I will not tell Master to go away.
32. I will not accuse Master of being gay when he arranges his driftwood in “artistically pleasing ways.”
33. Or his candles.
34. Or his doilies.
35. I am always the spankee; I am never the spanker.
36. I will keep my greasy fingertips off Master’s computer screen.
37. I will not eat Master’s leftovers without permission.
38. When asked how many spanks my misbehavior warrants, I will not answer using fractions.
39. I will not write on Master’s back the night before his doctor’s appointment.
40. I will not play connect-the-dots with Master’s moles.
41. I will not make lengthy “to do” lists for Master.
42. On second thoughts, I WILL applaud when Master uses big words (this overrides rule 3).
43. Hooting and whistling, however, is excessive.
44. Master is the judge of whether or not I am a moron.
45. I will be spanked if I leave the caps off Master’s pens.
46. If it becomes obvious that I’m deliberately leaving the caps off Master’s pens, I will not be spanked. Even if I beg.
47. A warm Master is a happy Master.
48. I will not hoot with laughter when Master accidentally whacks himself on the back of the head with the flogger.
So I am taking some time off from going out for fun. A buddy hooked me up with some GREAT smokage. I can’t really do this when I have to go anywhere for a few days but I took the whole weekend and just vegged in front of the TV and smoked with JJ. Ever watched Adult Swim stuff stoned? It has a WHOLE NEW meaning. I wonder if they are messed up when the write it?
Looking for some good ol’ American Pr0n and came across HellFireSex.com. If you like BDSM with some very fuckable looking women involved, you would like it too. I was watching this one chick hold another for her to get fucked in the ass. SUCH a turn-on. Not going to get into the gooey details but I am going to keep this membership for awhile I think. Damn! Wonder where I can meet some chicks like this?
I HAD to see an escort. Looked at CityVibe and found alot of hot women. However, could not get most of them to either answer the phone or if they did, could not get anyone who wanted to work. Then, I got in touch with Trinity. Nice! Hot body. Great time.
Here is how it went down: (ha! I love puns)
I called in the morning about the special and made it over there at about 1:00pm (this is a complex where I’ve met several previous providers…a gated community). I walked up to the door and she was standing ready behind it. As soon as I entered she had a top on with NO BOTTOMS. She initiated body to body contact and ravaged me into her bedroom for thirty minutes of NON-STOP action. BBBJ as soon as I entered the bedroom. Then DATY, MISH, and CG. I’ve never been with a provider as eager to please as she…I will return.
Man! Why could all “providers” not be like this. I guess if they were I would be in the poor house though. I feel great.